UNCONDITIONAL HAPPINESS
We have all heard the phrase “unconditional love” before.
We all know that this is the type of love we receive from our Creator, and being made In His image, this is the type of love we continue strive for and radiate every day to everyone around us. And especially to ourselves.
“If you are always chasing love it will elude you, if you become love it will find you” - Wayne Dyer
On my quest to find inner love and happiness, I have discovered that love is a feeling that we are trying to fulfil with outside experiences.
Do you actually love the person, situation or circumstances or do you love the feeling of love?
And if love is an inner experience, why don’t we feel it all the time, regardless of what is happening on the outside world?
This goes for all positive emotions. If happiness, joy and inspiration is something that happens inside, why do we want to satisfy it with things on the outside.
Think about it for a moment…
Over the years your experiences have created preferences.
Likes and dislikes.
Things that make you feel comfortable and uncomfortable.
And as soon as a person or situation makes you feel the latter, you try and fix it so that you can make it the way you think it should for you to feel okay.
We judge it and label it, because as soon as we can make sense of it, we can control and manipulate it.
So lets get back to the word “unconditional”
According to the Oxford dictionary it means: not subject to any conditions; not conditional or limited.
“Not limited to”…these 3 words immediately caught my attention.
Should the journey then be to rather seek “unconditional” love and happiness to find the true meaning of it.
Not limiting ourselves to certain conditions, but finding these states in every moment of every day, regardless of our likes and dislikes?
Surrendering to every moment and letting go of your preferences of what love and happiness should feel and look like and living from a place of BEING.
Let’s take a recent conversation with a friend I had as an example…
Let’s call her Jane.
She was upset because her boyfriend sent her a text and didn’t include any emoji e.g. at the end of the sentence.
Trying to make sense of it, she now filled her mind with possible scenarios of why her boyfriend is now being so “cold” towards her.
She prefers messages from her partner in a certain way, because then she feels “loved”
And with LOVE comes happiness and joy right?
Creating a positive state. Feeling okay inside.
To some this might sound completely silly, but without judgement, take an example out of your own life and see where you place conditions on feelings of joy, love and peace.
Then perhaps this example will not seem so silly at all…
The boss didn’t greet you?
Your spouse took too long to answer your text?
The taxi driver cut in front of you?
You are in a hurry and the cue at check it is too long?
For some, after an experience mentioned above, your joy is stolen and suddenly you find yourself in a bad “mood”
Like an appliance that get’s unplugged, and all of a sudden looses power.
Hope you are still with me
So imagine she didn’t have this preference, would the message make her feel less loved?
Of course not!
She would have read the message and received it in a loving manner, because she has not attached her positive feelings to the outcome of how a message is conveyed.
If we just allow things to BE what it is, and remove conditions / preferences we can surrender to the moment and enjoy the experience in a way in which it was created to be in the first place. Just another experience in which we can grow.
Ever been surrounded by a group of people and still felt lonely?
The outside world is not responsible for what you feel inside
Humans were created to survive, and will always…
seek pleasure
avoid pain
preserve energy
And as a result we have created conditions in which we feel most comfortable in, and makes us feel “good” all the time.
Take the conditions/limits away and we feel bad and will invest a lot of effort and energy in making us feel good again.
Leaving you stressed, overwhelmed, drained, anxious and depressed.
And around and around this vicious cycle goes.
I am not saying all preferences are bad.
Surely you have to be able to distinguish between circumstances that doesn’t serve you and decreases your quality of life.
If you are in a abusive relationship, a career that sucks the life out of you, surrounded by people that drain you, or your health is deteriorating…
MOVE!
Your mind and body is a beautiful creation.
No software / tech company in the world can duplicate this complex system that supports you in experiencing the gift of life.
Your mind was created to analyse, problem solve, to evolve and most importantly to CREATE
It was not created to constantly try and make the world around you be the way you want it to be.
Rather ask yourself where these preferences come from.
You created them from past experiences that made you feel uncomfortable and which you are now bringing into the present moment.
Constantly living in the past and not experiencing this new beautiful moment in front of you.
As mentioned in a previous post...the natural state of your
mind is peace
your heart is love
your body…health
and your soul is growth and expansion
The soul cannot expand if you are constantly putting limitations on it
The heart cannot experience unconditional love if you open and close due to your preferences
The Mind cannot experience peace and unconditional happiness if you are constantly bombarding it with the way things should be for your to feel okay
And your body cannot experience ultimate health if you are always feeding it junk just to get through the day
Imagine yourself going on vacation. Let’s say Mauritius.
Before you leave you are not thinking of ways to change the destination in any way to make it fit your likes and dislikes.
No, you are brimming with excitement to experience the beautiful beaches, take part in the fun activities and venturing into the unknown.
Now imagine living your life with this same excitement for every new day, and every new moment and experience in front of you.
So how can you practice letting go of your likes and dislikes?
By embracing every moment that is unfolding infront of you and being grateful for what IS
Thank you heart...
Thank you breath...
Thank you body...
Thank you sun...
Thank you trees...
Reflect on the conditions that you have placed on life, people, things and circumstances for you to feel okay.
Identify where they come from?
What are the advantages of holding onto them?
What do you need to do start letting go of them?
“You cannot move forward if you are holding onto things that doesn’t serve you”
Live without limits…
